Birth Stories
The Birth of Joseph Preston- 25. August 2007 My Home Birth Experience “You want to do what?” My boss looked at me as if I had just announced a white-water rafting trip with all the family…. his family. “My wife, I mean ‘we’,” I quickly corrected myself,” have decided to have a home birth.” After the initial congratulations on the event itself had subsided, the Head of Equities at the bank I was working for – contrary to current public perception a man used to taking measured risk like other people take a breath – once again looked aghast. “Isn’t your wife over 40?” he asked, not-so-subtly indicating the increased risk he assumed. “Actually, I was a bit sceptical at first, but it makes of lot of sense to me now”. I rehearsed the arguments about hospitals being for sick people and pregnant mums needing calm, privacy and comfort. I added a personal observation on the number of negative birth stories which were ultimately about simply being in a hospital. My boss, however, was unmoved. I’d become used to this by now and in any event my mind was made up. I was looking for parental leave, not his opinion. So why did we choose a home birth for our second child and how did it go? Our reasons for opting for a home birth were all about making informed choices and not just the birth pool/home spa. The big swing factor, however, was our independent midwife, Anja. What to say to do her justice? Anja is not just one of the most experienced midwives we have met, but also hugely patient, quietly confident and subtly persuasive, all at the same time. Where the banker in me wanted to understand the additional risks we were taking on (what if), how controllable they were (what next) and when the point of no return would occur (what then), she was prepared. We ran through scenarios and ambulance logistics until I could see the sense of it. We met other clients who had had the same questions as us and listened to their own stories. Again, the key theme for me all along was being aware of alternatives and making informed choices. On the day itself, we felt prepared and relatively relaxed. We had a huge, warm birth pool we had hired 3 weeks prior and my wife loved it. As labour set in on a hot Friday evening in August, I cannot put into words the calming effect of not leaving the house and not seeing armies of unfamiliar white coats. My wife loved the fact that she was in her familiar environment, had a lovely clean bathroom all her own and everything else including music and candles for comfort. Yes, there was one slightly precarious moment where we considered a trip to the hospital as my wife informed us politely during her transition that she now wanted a full scale epidural and was ‘very sorry’, but couldn’t carry on. Anja stayed with her all the way, talked and massaged it through… and the moment passed. Our beautiful boy, Joseph Riley Preston Walsh, was born on his late grandfather’s birthday at 1:15 am on the 25th August 2007. His sister (5 years at the time and one room down the hall) slept through the entire event. The birth itself was incredibly peaceful (well, with a bit of noise backdrop from my wife), although not a water birth in the end, and ‘little’ Joseph (9 lbs) took to the breast straight away like a trooper. In the soft light of the room, looking at my nursing wife and son, I was sure I had never seen anything more life-affirming and beautiful in my life. I remember Anja tucking us all up in our own bed, after making sure that everything was tidy and clean, and quietly closing the door behind her on the way out before coming back only a bit later that same day. Her quiet confidence and nurturing care before, during and after the birth was a truly special experience for us and gave our son the best possible start in life. Would I recommend a home birth to anyone else? Yes I would, but two things to add. We recognise our story owes a lot to our wonderful midwife Anja. If you’re anything like me, then somebody else’s home birth story and recommendation alone is not going to cut it. Instead, if you recognise any of your own views on choices in the above, I would urge you to talk it through with a professional like Anja. I’ve still to try white water rafting. Back to Birth StoriesBack to top | ||
...In the soft light of the room, looking at my nursing wife and son, I was sure I had never seen anything more life-affirming and beautiful in my life... |
