Birth Stories

The Birth of Lowri Rose - 19 August 2005

Who’d have thought that we’d end up hiring acro-props from a local building firm? Neither my husband, Jon, or I started with a real plan in mind for the birth of our first child when I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Eve 2004. I had an idea that I’d like a home birth but knew nothing about the reality. With me having a GP for a father we faced opposition from the outset, but the more research we did, the more certain we became that a home birth was the right thing for us. Quite late on in my pregnancy, after some problems with our NHS midwife that dented our confidence, we met Anja, who was the answer to our prayers. As an independent midwife, she was able to spend time with us and reassured us every step of the way.

So, finally, after a relatively easy pregnancy, I called Anja on Thursday 18th August to let her know that things were getting started. She advised a long relaxing walk and a nice meal together as it might be the last relaxed meal we’d have for a while. A curry it was which, for I think the first time ever, I couldn’t finish. I’ve always loved chicken biryani! Too many other things on my mind I suppose.

We went for that walk, put the curtains up in the nursery, picked at the curry and waited with great excitement. The contractions became steadily stronger, but were very variable in length and spacing. NCT classes had led me to expect a steady progress 30 seconds, 15 minutes apart moving to 45 seconds, 10 minutes apart, to 1 minute, 5 minutes apart, and so on. That is, of course, not what I got. 1 minute, 14 minute break; 1½ mins, 8 mins apart; 2 minutes, 15 mins apart; 1 minute, 2 minute break, another 1 minute; etc… With the TENs machine attached, I managed to cope like this until about 1:30am on Friday morning, when we called Anja again. I was struggling with my breathing as I paced up and down the landing, and despite Jon’s gallant efforts, I was having trouble remaining calm. Anja did the trick with some calm, gentle words and I found some reserves of energy. At her suggestion I had a warm shower, which was really helpful. We were both exhausted by this stage, me from having not really slept the previous night through mild contractions, and now having to try to cope with the real thing, and Jon because I’d managed to keep him awake most of the previous night and now he had all the worrying to contend with! And of course me pacing!

Cut to 3:30am… I’d just about had enough of pacing now, and the contractions were still all over the place, although on occasions less spaced. After some wrangling as to whether now was the right time, I put my best persuasive argument to Jon that it was time to ask Anja to come over. I think it would be inappropriate of me to recall what I actually said!

She arrived at about 4:40am, by which time the contractions were steadily spaced at 3 minutes. I remain convinced that it was the surety of knowing she was on her way that allowed me to relax and my body to get on with the process at hand. A quick examination revealed that I was 6-7 centimetres dilated and it was time to get into the pool. That’s where the acro-props came in. The dining room floor of our Edwardian house is suspended and somewhat bouncy. To be on the safe side, we’d decided to speak to a structural engineer. I’m glad we did. Saved a lot of worry later!

Having picked up the props, Jon had erected them in the basement a few days earlier and then he and I had put up the pool and filled it up. A tense few hours of watching the floor and the props followed, but thankfully nothing budged even a millimetre. So, into the pool it was something of a relief. It’s over to Jon now, as I spent much of the following few hours not entirely aware of my surroundings something Anja referred to as labourland….

The concept of “labourland” seems strange until one has witnessed it. Sam had moments of being completely lucid and other times when she was definitely somewhere else.

Through all the preparation, the months of thinking, the NCT classes, maternity unit visits, and many, many conversations with Anja, we felt as prepared as I think we could have done. Until it all starts to happen. It is an experience that one could not forget - a tough experience, an emotional rollercoaster and the first day of something quite special. We were both shattered from lack of sleep, emotionally it is painful to watch your wife tired, exhausted and in real pain every few moments. Reassurance and tender support is what I was there for, but I‘d like to have done so much more.

It had been a long, long night, and it is true to say that one looses all perspective of time. By the time Anja arrived Sam was struggling, feeling it was all too much and that she could not go on. It was great to have Anja there to assure her that all was progressing well, it was all normal and, yes, everyone is exhausted by this point. Anja advised Sam that it was time to get into the pool. It was obvious that it offered Sam both support and pain relief - she managed to relax between contractions. Sam tried various positions to try to get comfortable but found shifting position in the pool difficult. Most of her time was spent either kneeling with arms draped over the edge of the pool, crouched or sat with her back to the side of the pool with me offering her both physical and emotional support.

Although there is a form of unchanging repetition about the cycle of contraction, recovery, relaxation, there is a sense of progression and it is true to say that both mum and dad were constantly concerned and asking questions. Anja was fabulous at calming our nerves and allaying our fears, but giving us realistic ideas of where we were and how long things were likely to take. Of course with a home birth the options for pain relief were rather limited. Sam reached the point of needing something to assist her beyond the benefits of the pool. She tried gas and air, taking what seemed to be a vast dose through the intense breathing of a contraction. This was followed by her saying something unintelligable and then as she came too, claiming that she felt woozy. Anja and I just looked at each other, saying ‘What did she say?’. That was the end of the pain relief!

When Anja thought the time was right, she called Andrea, the second midwife, and we were shortly joined by her for the birth. At one point Sam thought that she could feel the baby was stuck and at the same time was struggling so much that she couldn’t go on. Anja was calm, forceful, positive and reassuring. Once the baby’s head could be felt the whole atmosphere and pace changed. Sam suddenly showed tremendous focus and determination. I have never seen such concentrated focus it was an awesome sight!

The birth itself felt relatively swift. Anja and Andrea reassured Sam and monitored both her and the baby’s progress; I offered support and encouragement. Lowri, our daughter, arrived at 8:37am, being born underwater. She was lifted on to her mum’s chest and the most fabulous special family cuddle ensued. It was followed by cups of tea and Dairy Milk all round, courtesy of our midwives. They were fantastic, helping us with all the essentials like getting Sam showered and helping her with Lowri’s first feed. Then we were surprised with breakfast in bed! And a pair of midwives carrying a makeshift cake, complete with candle, singing Happy Birthday!

Those first moments were so, so special, and the peaceful surroundings of our own home, together with the fantastic care Sam received were as much as one could ask for. What an experience.

Sam & Jon

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